Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
