How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
