I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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