But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
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There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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