On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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