Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
