dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
