brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
