But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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