Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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