I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
