Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
