AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
