K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.