I'm really into asian looking animals
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
