That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
