I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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