you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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