im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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