im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
