ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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