Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
