I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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