Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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