im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
