You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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