Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
