i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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