Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Green mimosas i think yes
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
