Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
