They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
