wat bout pragnant strippers??
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
