He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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