I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize