Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
