we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
