dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
