Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
