...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
