god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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