I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
