His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
