you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
