do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Enjoy the penises
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
