I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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