wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
my liver is dry heaving
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
