Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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