he puts the penis in happiness.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
