Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
