Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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