About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
