His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
