? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
