Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
