i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
