this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
