never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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