Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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