i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We are two peas in an std pod
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize