And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
it was like eating out sand paper
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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