In the future we'll all be gay
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize