Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
