you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
