turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
OPIZZABONMYDICK
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
