just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
