My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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