i just wanna soil my oats bro
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
